I’m baaaaaaack!

Hello friends and readers! I know I’ve been silent for more than half of my life. I just needed a break, you know?  So much was happening in my life in October and November what with Mom and Dad’s long trip and Dad’s new truck and all my sharpest teeth falling out. I love Daddy’s truck.  Edit

Then the holidays came and we took a trip to see Uncle Glen in Houston. That was about the time I went through my headware phase. Here’s a sample: 

Not my best moment, but a kid’s got to try new things, you know.  Mom says this picture will one of those I look back on and groan, like her yearbook pictures.  I even tried smoking- I’m a rebel. 

By January I had testicles and just couldn’t stop humping everything. My voice started changing and Echo was always making fun of me. I got kinda ornery too. The good news is that while Mom was away for Christmas to see Grandma and Grandpa, I talked Dad into letting me sleep on the bed. When Mom got home I totally tricked her by acting like I was protecting her from bad guys. Been sleeping there ever since. Score! 

During the spring I did a lot of reflecting, meditation and playing in the stinky black mud of the nearby pond. I was living for the moment, you know? I also chewed on a lot of shoestrings, toy stuffings, sticks, and entered my destroy plastic phase. I watched a lot of tv and played Call of Duty with Dad. I knew Mom didn’t want me to do that but I showed her she’s not the boss of me!

Then in April she made it very clear she is the boss of me! We went for a car ride one morning and these nice people made me really sleepy. When I woke up my I had this feeling I was missing something really important.  My whole back half hurt!  I was so afraid to fall asleep (what would they cut off next?!).  Mom gave me these pills that made me drool but I refused to sleep. Finally I just couldn’t stay awake. When I woke up that time I felt much better. Mommy was really nice to me and I got to be really lazy for awhile.  

That near-death experience really changed my perspective. I no longer wanted to hump things and thought I should do more with my life. So, here’s what I’ve done:

1) pledge to poop in just one area of the yard

2) sleep parallel to Mom and Dad so they can stretch their legs out

3) not pull on Echo’s tail

4) sit like a good boy when people and dogs walk by ( I draw the line at little girls, though. If there are little girls I MUST PLAY WITH THEM!)

5) return to my daily diary (lucky you!)

I have to admit that, now that I’m a year old, I have much more to write about. 

We are leaving today for our first big rv trip of the southern states. I can’t wait for beaches and mosquitoes I can ride like horses. I think they’ll like me down there. Dad promised me a sleeveless T-shirt like his! And mommy says I can get a swim shirt to keep my skin from burning. Get ready y’all!

Love, 

Hank